Whether you have a human Significant Other, a favored animal companion, or just your own self to please this year, the first step to planning a special February 14th is to know the answers to these questions:
Do you know your loved-one’s love language?
Do you know yours?
Here’s a clue from the book by Dr. Gary Chapman: The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts:
- Words of Affirmation: Saying or writing words of appreciation to your loved-one.
- Acts of Service: Performing tasks to make your loved-one’s life better.
- Gift-giving: Buying or making thoughtful gifts to let your loved-one know you see and appreciate them.
- Quality Time: Taking time to plan and participate in fun outings and events for you and your loved-one to enjoy together.
- Physical Touch: Showing love through physical contact, from fleeting caresses to reassuring hugs to lengthy massages that are freely given without the expectation of reciprocity.
It’s good to know your love languages, and those of your closest companions, whether they are human, canine, or whatever. Then you can plan the day knowing what makes them happy and also fulfills your need to express love in the way that matters most to you.
Here’s a quick example: I really like the geckos who come into our house. I know they enjoy sweets, so I’ll put out tiny little dishes of watered-down mango jelly on every windowsill (which satisfies my love language of giving gifts and shows my appreciation for their acts of service in eating bothersome bugs).
If you’re on your own this Valentine’s Day, don’t feel bad that you don’t have a bunch of hangers-on expecting you to fulfill their every wish. Instead, figure out your own love language, and do something special to make yourself happy, preferably something you haven’t allowed yourself to do for one reason or another.
- Words of Affirmation could be sticky notes on mirrors, or a piece of art to remind yourself of your intrinsic value.
- Acts of Service could mean spending the day whittling down the to-do list that’s been hanging over your head, or repotting those root-bound plants that have been languishing by the front door.
- Gift-Giving could mean ordering a special item you’ve wanted for a while and can only just now afford.
- Quality Time could mean going on a road trip for the day to do something you’ve always thought would be fun. Or just take the day off from work and sleep late.
- Physical Touch could be satisfied by booking a massage, or by investing in feather pillows, excellent sheets, or a weighted blanket for your bed.
If your favored companion is an animal, what makes them feel happy and loved?
- Words of Affirmation: We should always be looking for opportunities to praise our animals for doing the right thing. But we also forget. Make it a point to tell your animal companion how much you love and appreciate them.
- Acts of Service: Give them a good brushing, or repair the Lambchop toy they eviscerated last week.
- Gift-giving: Toys! Treats! New stuff to destroy!
- Quality Time: Go for a walk or a car ride to a favorite dog-friendly patio restaurant.
- Physical Touch: Sit with them to give pets and cuddles. (They won’t care if you watch a movie at the same time.)
Human companions are harder to please, but it’s all the same: Your giving language and their receiving language may be different, but both can be satisfied.
If they like Quality Time and you like Gift-giving, give them a gift of dinner reservations at a nice restaurant followed by a night on the town.
If they like Acts of Service and you like Physical Touch, repair the refrigerator’s wonky ice machine in the morning, then give them a massage after you’ve served them a homemade dinner, but don’t expect a midnight Whoopie session as payback.
Okay, I think that’s enough input from me to help you craft your own fantastic Valentine’s Day with your constant companions, no matter who they are. Hope it helps! Let me know how it goes!
