When a door opens….
After many decades as a writer—and a whole lot less time as a published author—I’ve learned a few things that I wish my older self could’ve told my younger self way back then.
Here it is, and you don’t have to read further than this paragraph unless you want to, because it’s only this: When a door of opportunity opens, don’t overthink it: You’re supposed to walk through it. Maybe look first to make sure there’s a floor behind the door, but don’t let fear of the unknown stop you from taking the next right step. Say “Yes!” to new pathways to success when they reveal themselves. (To be clear, I’m not referring to opportunities to give money to scammers—I’m advocating bravery, not stupidity.)
I regret passing by open doors when the paths behind them seemed too scary, new, untried, possibly dangerous and doomed to fail. Those paths could also have led to the ground floor of something exciting.
Back in the day when E-publishing was a brand-new scary thing that everyone expected to flop, what might have happened if I had signed with the E-publisher who loved my first (still unpublished) manuscript? When the idea of Print-on-Demand books seemed sketchy, what might have happened if I had said yes to an EBook contract with POD potential after earning out the advance?
What might have happened if I hadn’t dithered so long about sending my (still unpublished) manuscript to Christopher …. Gosh, what was his last name? The cute editor from Dorchester Publishing who judged and requested my Golden Heart manuscript? Anyhow, I can’t remember his name, but he should’ve starred as the Elven King in Lord of the Rings, and I should’ve submitted that manuscript before Dorchester folded the next year. Maybe it wouldn’t have worked out anyway, but now I’ll never know.
I’m glad I followed through with self-publishing instead of waiting my whole writing life for a traditional publishing contract. My self-published books didn’t take off like a rocket, but they got good reviews, and they sell okay with no advertising, so I’m happy I did it. And it’s not like my traditional publishing contract turned out to be the ticket to success I’d hoped for. I’m glad I tried it too, but I doubt I’ll ever again let someone else have that much control over my work.
If you’re still with me at this point, I’ll summarize. I don’t regret taking chances that didn’t work out the way I had hoped. But I DO regret the times I didn’t walk through the doors that opened to me. If I could do it all over again knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t. I’m too old and tired for that. But when the next door opens, I’ll check first to make sure there’s a floor behind the door, and then I’ll step through it.
Don’t overthink it. Just check for a floor, then say “Yes, thank you,” and walk through.
As someone who won’t take any door because I’m so afraid to commit and miss out on all the other doors, at least you did choose a few doors!
No regrets though – our glorious future is still unwritten and we’re where we need to be to get to it!
You’re so right. Wherever we are, we’re all perfectly positioned to create an amazing life. We write the script, and if we don’t love our lines, we can change them anytime.
I love this, I did walk through a scary door a few times and I mostly, don’t have regrets. My biggest one was diving head first into this horticulture thing, coming from a back ground as a copier tech at various law firms and a San Francisco bike messenger/punk rocker, that has never knew a thing about plants. Knowing that life can change on a dime like this and I have learned so much acceptance of change and how life is so variable. Some out of nessesity and desperation, some out of choice.
The older I get, I feel now I am more and more prepared for what comes down the pike, its always enevidable that change happens, its our choice to take the leap. You just never know!
I think everything happens for a reason and someone on the other side may have whispered that there was a better door.