Covid-19 Social Distancing Survival Guide—Ten Quick Tips for Babette from the Animals of Dragonfly Pond Farm

(This is my animals’ advice to me; your animal companions will undoubtedly have a particular list for you, but our animal companions are smart, so please listen to yours!)

#1 – Jed and Fred: Try to shop for an entire week instead of making multiple trips to the store. Bring us along because we like to ride in the car, but park at the very back of the lot, because otherwise, people you don’t even know will see us and want to pet us, and then they will strike up a conversation with you, and then they’ll want to hug you because they are lonely for conversation and companionship. And though you know it’s a bad idea, you will be too surprised to say no, so you will let them hug you anyway. (No lie; this happened to Jed and Fred and me today in the Greer’s parking lot because we parked too close to the storefront.)

#2 – Georgia: Plant a Social Distancing Garden with all the vegetables you like to eat. While you’re doing that, you can throw the ball, and I’ll catch it. You don’t throw the ball enough, so this is your chance to do better.

#3 – The Chickens: Pull weeds! This will help us find more worms and bugs and grubs. Spread some pine straw, too, because this hides the bugs that we like to eat yet makes it easier for us to find them. We’ll scratch it up and spread it over the walkways, but as you know, none of this is about you. It’s all about us.

#4 – Toby Kitten: Write the damn book. Sure, you just turned-in book one to the editor, but book two is knocking at the door, and we all know you are on a series of perpetual deadlines, so just do it. I’ll sit in your lap.

#5 – Max: Write the damn book. I’ll sit on the keyboard and type in random characters and/or delete whatever you just wrote. Be sure to back-up often because I feel the need to stretch on a regular basis.

#6 – Mimi: Clean the litterboxes. Because even though you did it yesterday, I’m not satisfied that they’re clean enough, and I think I’ll do a protest-pee on one of the dog beds just in case.

#7 – Glenn: Do laundry! You know how much I love to help with the folding.

#8 – Opus: Teach me a new song. I’m tired of whistling the Andy Griffith tune. And, clean the refrigerator. I’ll be happy to take those wilting celery sticks off your hands.

#9 – Truman: Go online and buy me a new dog bed. Mimi keeps peeing on mine.

#10 – Princess Grace: Catch up on reading good books! I’ll sit in your lap, and if you get tired of reading, we can take a nap together.

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